poem, poetry, Uncategorized, writing

Stopped

The tremor smashed through my body from my epicentre mind

To the tips of my fingers and toes,

I anticipated. White dots growing in my eyes as

I waited. Bile rising like a tsunami in my throat to my mouth,

Adding to the already destructive taste.

I could have never foreseen it,

I wish I did; I would never have asked you to visit.

But when your absence grew, the unwanted feeling arose and my stomach

Wrenched as if a swarm of bees had been released inside of me.

I knew.

My heart pounded an intolerably rapid beat

My lungs squeezed tight, friction enough to start a fire

Between my clamped top and bottom teeth.

Knuckles cream white, ferociously gripping the freezing steering wheel,

While my foot was forced flat to the floor.

Eyes flickered, flashing from blue to white lights that entered

Between my damp lashes, blinding me.

My shoulders hunched up rigorously,

Nostrils expelled boiling air, hissing at automatic million miles

An hour; sensory experience heightened but

Still torturously unaware of everything but you.

My flesh, pallor, not a face in the mirror

To be seen. The smell of putrid vomit stifling the air,

Stifling me. I waited, I waited, I waited and pleaded.

Nothing. Like screaming at a tree, trapped within my labyrinth mind

Of what ifs, maybes, bent over backwards, breaking my back

In order to grasp the truth.

But you were okay, it was okay, everything would be okay.

Regaining colour, and speech. My mind stopped, the world stopped,

I stopped for you.

Yet, my face became wet and my eyes pooled with salty tears,

I clutched at your hand never wanting to let go, choking out the words,

“I love you.”

Because if you were okay, I knew I would be too.

Advertisements
poem, poetry, Uncategorized

Grow up

Life is incredible

When you’re flying close to the sun.

But you better watch out,

Too close and you’ll burn.

 

It’s all fun and games until someone

Gets hurt.

I’ll get the blame,

For fucking caring too much.

 

Well, I’m done caring,

About what people think.

You don’t know shit about me,

Despite what you like to think.

 

I’m standing tall on my own two feet

I faced my fears, I found out

who I am supposed to be.

 

I didn’t stop to let you taunt me.

I didn’t shed any tears.

This will all come back to haunt you.

The way that you made me feel.

 

Your bullshit, it’ll drown you,

Pull you to the bottom of the pool

Because everyone is changing, for the better,

You should too.

love, poetry, Uncategorized

You.

You think I’m ungrateful.

I’m not,

I’m grateful for every single thing

That I’ve got.

 

I don’t say it much,

I find it hard to show,

How much I appreciate you

From head to toe.

 

The sacrifices you’ve made

Cut deep and sore.

You gave up your life for me,

For us to have more.

 

I know how much you love me,

Even when it doesn’t show.

I wish I could repay you

Plus a thousand times more.

 

I’m all grown up now,

A woman of 18. And I’d like

To thank you for helping

Me to be me.

poetry, slam poem, Uncategorized

Blood Means Nothing

I have been waiting for you.

Look me in the eye.

Did your macho male instincts

Attaint paternity?

 

A penny away from poverty.

A life you wouldn’t wish your worst

Enemy.

Yet, I wear your face.

 

You took a young hand,

Not so sweet. A thousand words were spoken by your actions.

 

I’ll burn away your sins.

I’ve got the spirit, do you

Feel it now?

I’m watching you, I take no pity on you,

As you walk the Valley of Ashes.

 

You speak false words.

A stretch of the truth crashing

Down to kill you.

What do I mean to you, tainted?

 

A duel of personalities;

You’re Jekyll and Hyde.

Blood means nothing

When self is your god.

poetry, slam poem, Uncategorized

Sick Minds

We are a social media generation.

But we aren’t social at all.

You see what you want to see.

With rose-tinted glasses

You scroll, like a picture, post on your wall.

Like after like, you must be liked.

 

No, that isn’t the case at all.

Head hunched forward, avoiding my

Eye contact, yet you look me up.

Everybody’s lives are like an open book.

 

Privacy is disregarded.

Your whole life is shared online.

Open your eyes, you are hypnotised,

A hypocrite.

Overdosing on pointless posts and likes.

 

You film your surroundings,

To give your life some meaning.

You are drunk on your ‘picture perfect’ life.

But I see

Through your inebriation.

 

You show yourself as beautiful, not a fault

To be seen. But I’m not blind

To your reflectionless imitation.

You’re jaded and overrated.

Flaws are what make us unique.

We are not a cyborg generation of repeat; repeat.

 

Yes, it is true, everyone is given

A voice, and for that, I am grateful.

Yet, our conservative nature as a species

Stamps on any sign of light.

Our social programming and bias take full flight.

 

You are neck deep in the shit that you read.

Moulded by the words of others deemed ‘great’.

Your precious gift of self is raped.

If you can’t be yourself,

You’d be better dead.

 

You shun, block, and label those

Who are not alike.

Those who chose to speak up, who use their voice to fight,

Are labelled controversial,

A WITCH!

Burned on sight.

 

Social media presents life on a global

Platform.

I give you this part of me.

Yet, you are trapped in a box,

Mind decorated like a grave.

 

 

poetry, slam poem, Uncategorized

When I close my eyes

When I close my eyes,

Silence

Serenity, eternal sleep.

My mind stops whirring a million miles a minute.

The whole world drops dead.

 

When I blink with heavy lids

I think. I think.

I’d be much happier if I didn’t think.

 

When I blink with heavy lids

The world taints me.

Dirty, dangerous, derogatory.

I am terrified of the dark being that,

Breeds inside of us all.

 

 

When I blink with heavy lids

The rain smacks down hard.

The lightning strikes, trees crack.

 

When I close my eyes

The rain stops. My mind stops.

The world drops dead.

This is how we all ought to be.

music, poetry, Uncategorized

Sweet Nectar

Music gives meaning to life. 

It permeates my body,

The notes in my veins like,

heroin.

Sweet nectar of pain,

Sweet nectar of mine.

Music is like a drug,

Dizzy.

It brings out the happiness in pain,

The pain in happiness.

It shows that the world isn’t so,

Bad.

It takes me higher than the clouds,

Ecstasy.

It takes me to another place,

Breathlessly.

Music is lifes greatest high.